Observations — Notes To Casting Directors Everywhere

I have fond memories of actor Raymond Burr before he became the title character in the legendary TV series, “Perry Mason.’ Prior to that juggernaut, in 1940’s movies primarily, Burr was often cast as the “heavy,” largely because he was.  Also because he was a fine actor and could pull it off despite the fact that, in private, he was a kind, gentle soul and generous philanthropist.

Raymond Burr

Chris Christie

Thinking about this, I wondered who could take his place. Who could pull off the stock “bully" character on screen? It was obvious to me immediately that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was perfect for the role, and acting is second nature for most politicians, if acting is even required in Christie’s case.  Once that came to me I realized many of our politicians might have a second lives as actors or visa versa, as did Ronald Reagan. Though it was pretty much the exact same thing in his case.

So I started thinking of other prominent politicians and what kind of characters they might play.

For example, if they bring back “Gomer Pyle” featuring Gomer as an aging misogynist, Mike Huckabee could have a lucrative second career.

If they ever remake Deliverance, Rand Paul might want to audition.  He seems to have the same worldview. And the pious Rick Santorum could be cast as a mayor of any city that outlaws dancing.

Aaron Schock, R, Illinois

Paul Ryan, R, Wisconsin

However, we might have to get innovative if we want to expand the casting opportunities to accommodate aging politicians. I’m proposing a new sitcom, ”Golden Boys,” about a gay senior center, starring Senator John McCain and his bff, Senator Lindsay Graham.  In the first episode Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock plays a visiting Midwestern go-go boy who helps the boys celebrate a birthday. Hilarity ensues.  In the second episode, Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan deftly portrays a sexy, flirty Midwestern fitness instructor to get the old boys in shape. Hilarity ensues again.  Senator Orrin Hatch makes a guest appearance to teach The Golden Boys how to sing and attempts to produce a septuagenarian version of “Glee.” Watch for the spin off.  Vladimir Putin is rumored to take Donald Trump’s place on “The Apprentice,” with losers spending the rest of their lives in Gulags. However, others say, based on the success of Mike Pence, Putin may move to southern Indiana and run for governor, using the slogan, ”I don’t like gay people either.”  He revives the hit single, “I’m too sexy For My Shirt” as the reality show’s theme song, or if that fails, his campaign theme.